Anyways.
It seems like lately everyone is dealing with something. You're probably thinking, "Duh, Morgan. We all have stuff going on in our everyday lives." And you're right. But for whatever reason, it just seems like it's EVERYONE around me. And it's on blast. But, maybe that's just due to the fact that I am super sensitive to how other people are feeling. I don't know. But lately, I have just been burdened with everyone else's issues. And part of me is like, "Here! I'll take it. No, really. Hand it over and I'll try to fix everything." But then another part of me is like, "Good grief people! I have stuff going on too! How in the WORLD can I even help YOU right now when I need help too!" So I'm caught somewhere between being maybe "too selfless" and "too selfish." What the heck? I know that I can't fix everyone's problem. I know I can't. I mean, I even tell myself that. But what can I do? Surely, I can do something. Right? I feel like anytime I give someone advice, they really don't hear me. You know what I mean? Almost like if it's not what they WANT to hear, then it's of no value, it's irrelevant. And I'm not going to lie, it makes me ill, ESPECIALLY when it's stuff I've gone through before, they KNOW I've gone through it, but don't listen to anything I tell them. Maybe that's just my pride talking. I know I don't have the answers, but I hate seeing people I love go through stuff that I've gone through. It kills me and it could be prevented if they would just LISTEN! I don't mean this for everyone, but there are some people I know that continue to allow themselves to get hurt, regardless of how many times I've advised them against what they're doing. How much can we really help people? That's what I'm stuck on. I can pray for them, but what if they're not even praying for themselves? What if they're not seeking God's will in whatever they're going through? Is it of any use? I know my God is greater, stronger, bigger than anything they're going through. I know he can handle anything. But I can't make people go to Him. I can tell them all day that they need to, but what if they don't? What then? See, I'm so WORRIED about other people. How do I love people more than myself without trying to help them with everything or fix everything for them? I'm stuck. But, I can't help everyone. I can't. I need help too. I am human and I'm dealing with stuff too. I can't carry everything. I don't even know what to do. Everyone wants me to be patient and understanding and supportive and real. I can be real, but I don't know if I can be all those other things, especially when I know someone is making a mistake or is only chasing meaningless things. Stuck. So so stuck. One of my good friends sees a counselor once a week and just vents. I really feel like we all need that. I guess I should really vent to the Counselor who has all the answers before I have the questions. My prayer is just God would show me where that line is. People can't depend on me and I can't depend on myself. But I pray that I can lead people to the One who they can depend on for everything, no matter how big or how small. I pray that He shows me how to love as He does, but how to not take everything onto myself.
If you're reading this, I hope that you know you can come to me about whatever. Seriously. I'm all ears (or eyes). I WILL try to help you in anyway that I can. But please know, that our amazing God is the only one who can truly fix any problem or heal any wound. I love you. I hope all is well for you.
Love Always,
Morgan
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1Peter 5:6-7
You're such a beautiful person!
ReplyDelete